im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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