She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
