john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
