omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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