He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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