I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
