the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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