i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
