Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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