Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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