So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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