he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
