I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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