my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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