Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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