Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
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I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize