Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
