the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize