I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
