I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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