Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
