i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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