i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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