big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
