think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
