Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
