I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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