The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i out mim tonsoeep
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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