Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
