She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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