wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
