Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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