wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.