so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
