You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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