I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
