she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
