My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
