I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
