Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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