I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
