He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
