Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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