is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found a bag of teeth...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize