Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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