I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
