Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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