no, he came in my armpit
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
