this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
