smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
