is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
