There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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