I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
