why didn't you poke me back
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
