he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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