Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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