I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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