my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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