Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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