That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
PANTIES FOUND
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