Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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